Hard to believe I was even smiling in this photo. It was the worst day I’d ever had. My eyes were so damn swollen from crying, my throat ached from sobbing, my heart was broken. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. I know, I know you don’t get it. But it was so fucking bad. Tears, sadness, anger, loss. My kids wanting to kick my ass. All of it just plain old sucked, sucked, and sucked. Then it sucked some more. Thankfully it was a turning point.
My life has changed so much in just one week. It’s amazing how quickly pain can turn to joy. Just from one damn day. One conversation. One fight. One discussion. One look. One admission. One confession. One life. One love. Just one. That’s all it took to change my life. To show vulnerability and not pity was what did it. To realize we are both human. That there is no room for complacency in a relationship. That you both must step up, every damn day. That helps too.
Keep using your words. Keep talking to the person you love. Not at them. Don’t shut down. It is the worst. And stay passionate. About everything. Your life, your love, your differences, your bodies. Celebrate each other. In small ways. Smile across a room at a party. Text each other. Write notes. Be decent to one another.
Like the fact that you fell in love with them. Like them! I know that Roger Darling likes me. That makes my day. I know that I like him. That makes his day. I know that I keep him young. I know that he keeps me grounded. Of course not so grounded that I don’t run around a store, start dancing and then sing at the top of my lungs. He’ll never change that about me. He loves that about me. Isn’t that great? I sure think so.