Until the day that I see you on the other side-Come and take me home-Evanescence
He was famous to her, even before he was. Even before that he was her star. She loved him. Why? She could never answer that question. She didn’t want to. She just knew she did. He was her writer, and one of the greatest loves of her life. He made her see in color for the first time in years. Made her feel like she was important, that she mattered, and that she was loved.
She stands in the cemetery at sunset. The sky is the color of blood as the sun sets its sights on awakening the other side of the world. She is blind to the vibrant color though. All she sees is a headstone. It is stark white, and newly etched with the name and date of a man she loves. It’s a name that used to dance on her tongue. It made her giggle like a school girl and weep like a child longing for their mother. She wishes she could say his name out loud, but she can’t. Not anymore. She was hoping she would see it next to hers. On stationary, a published book, maybe even a marriage certificate.
She feels a chill in the autumn air. She was always hoping she could visit this place in the summer. The sun descends behind the trees, and she wraps her arms around herself, wishing she had held him in this life. Just once. Just once! She swears she can feel him now. The chilled breeze is his whisper in her ear, telling her he loves her. Still. She feels the softness of his hands on hers. She hears him whisper her name. It’s like he’s standing right behind her.
It’s dusk now and getting colder, darker. But she doesn’t want to move. For moving would break the spell. She’s afraid his ghost will disappear. She wants to turn around and see him there. With his silly smirk, laughing eyes and beautiful hands. She wants to hear her nickname fall from his lips. If she moves from this spot, she’ll never hear it. She must, hear it. She must!
With the sun now set the night has settled in. There is no light in the cemetery. She thinks she feels his presence disappear with the sun. She misses him so damn much. She wanted to see him, in the flesh. But the timing never worked out. Even though they loved each other, something always got in their way. Distance for one. Other lives to live for another. They connected on so many levels but physically, they never could.
She knows part of her ashes will be buried with him someday. She’s already made the arrangements. For even though they never met, they never lived together and they never were a family, their hearts were still each other’s home. She knows that even though they never connected physically in this life, that they will. In the next one. There they will meet, fall in love, have children, grow old and die together.
She’s still standing at his grave. It’s full dark, but she doesn’t care. The moon, the moon is full and bright. And she can see, everything. All the words they said and all the love they shared. It illuminates her soul and warms her. She begins to pull apart the flowers that she brought to place on his grave. She spreads the petals on the headstone and all over the ground around it. She finally begins to cry. For in that instant, she hears it. Her nickname whispered and carried on the chilly autumn breeze. And then played hauntingly in her ear.
She turns to look behind her, but of course he isn’t there. She knew he wouldn’t be. But she can finally move from the spot she has been standing in. She kneels down and with her slender fingers, lovingly traces his name on the stone. She kisses her hand and blows the kisses toward the stone. Says goodbye and that she will see him in the next life. She begrudgingly moves her feet and wanders to the cemetery gate. Before she passes through it, she looks back. She knows the next time she’s here, it will be to rest, with him for eternity. She walks through the gate and back to her real life.
The ghost of him watches her go and again whispers her nickname, but she is too far away to hear it. Then he steps back into the shadows and patiently waits for her return.