Is there anything sadder than unrequited love?

Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. – Erica Jong, O Magazine, February 2004
I have a dear friend that  had fallen for one of their best friends.  They’re not sure how it happened but in the course of knowing each other for many years, it did.  Both are married to other people, and reasonably happy.  These two have helped each other through some rough times and given support when  there was no one else to hold onto.  For most people the friendship would have ended with the admission of intense longing and love.  The love interest would have gotten totally freaked out and got the hell away from the love sick fool as quickly as possible. Fortunately the love sick fool had fallen for a pretty groovy love interest, who didn’t run away. Love interest put up with a lot of crazy shit from love sick fool. Then the love interest insisted on a break from one another, stating that the focus needed to be shifted back to what was really really important and that was their spouse and family.  It wasn’t said to the love sick fool in the nicest of ways but alas that was how it had to be done.  Love interest had to be a total asshole to love sick fool.   They had to say that the love that love sick fool felt was not returned in any way, shape or form and they needed to fucking get over it. Love sick fool fell apart, but held it together in front of family and friends.  And wonder of wonders something happened.  The love sick fool actually fell in love with their spouse again.  A few texts were sent during the hiatus, but no other communication took place. Nothing drastic happened.  No crazy suicide attempt, self mutilation, drunk late night calls or the like by love sick fool.  They just listened to lots of Adele, Bonnie Raitt, Avette Brothers, Anna Ternheim, F+TM, cried incessantly and laid in bed. Not too sure how the love interest fared during the hiatus. I’m sure love sick fool hoped they felt like shit and missed them.  But who knows….. FUCKER! But I digress…. Fast forward a couple of weeks.  After some tense conversations, love interest and love sick fool have been talking again. Finding friendship after loving someone so fiercely is tough but when you don’t want to lose that person from your life, you do what you have to do; what’s right. And if that means hiding those feelings that you have and moving forward, then that’s what you do.  Sometimes the only way to really show you love someone is by giving up what you want. You want to give all of yourself to them but they will just hate you for it.  And you can’t love someone so intensely that you lose yourself in the process. Some days it’s torture for my dear friend. Some days they feel the love for love interest still and it hurts so much. But sometimes the best way to love someone is to let go a bit and just enjoy what you have with them.

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