I’m a Domestic Goddess, Dammit!

I call myself a Domestic Goddess-Roseanne Barr

How do I start this lovely post. Hmmmmm. Well. Let’s see. I was young when I got married. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was domestically challenged. I had a lot to learn. Fortunately I had a good teacher. Roger Darling was the best. Not the most patient. He laughed at me a lot. Which in turn made me cry. But then we became a good team, he and I. I’m writing on this subject because as I was getting the clean laundry from the dryer yesterday I realized that I had somehow washed and dried a roll of toilet paper with it. Who the hell does that??? Me. ADHD Girl on caffeine. I couldn’t seem to slow down enough to realize that I had grabbed a roll of almost depleted TP and threw it in with the wash?! Thankfully, it didn’t shred in the washer or the dryer. AND it didn’t get stuck on all of the clean clothes so that I had to re-wash them. Whew! It did however bring up some funny memories of other Domestic Goddess SNAFUs.

Like the time we were hanging wall paper and Roger told me to go make dinner for us. I had never cooked for him before. It was just hamburgers for God’s sake. But there I was standing in the kitchen, crying because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I would have rather hung wall paper. I KNEW how to do that. Roger Darling walked into the kitchen and saw me bawling. Hugged me and said, Honey it’s only burgers. We’ll cook together. It kind of led to a marriage long love affair with cooking together. I love to cook now. I think I’m better at it then he is. Really.

Or the time I was washing whites and I threw in a light colored shirt of Rog’s. When I pulled it out of the wash it had turned as white as the socks and dish towels that I washed with it. Guess I wasn’t supposed to use bleach on it. OOPS! Roger just laughed and shook his head. He said not to worry. That I’d learn. And learn I did. But I can tell you I still don’t like the whole Domestic Goddess thing. I’d rather have a root canal some days.

Another good laundry story from back in the day. Roger worked the midnight shift. It was the morning of his bachelor party and my bachelorette party. I had just gotten up and was doing laundry, running around a bit and cleaning. He asked me to iron his pants that he was going to wear to his bachelor party. I was a young, jealous girl. I didn’t like the fact that he was going to a strip club. I turned and looked at him, told him, point blank he could iron his own fucking pants! In no uncertain terms was I going to help him have a good time watching naked chicks dance. Nope, it wasn’t going to happen. And it didn’t. He DID iron his own fucking pants. Ha!

23 years later I’ve kind of gotten the hang of this Domestic Goddess title. I like the fact that Roger Darling and I are partners in housework, laundry, outdoor work, parenting. I never, ever felt like I was doing more than him. There have been times that he’s been more domestic than I have. It’s in his nature to nurture. Me, not so much. I’m a little flighty. But with Rog’s help, I’ve learned so much. And I keep learning. I’m thankful for such a patient, and helpful teacher.

17 thoughts on “I’m a Domestic Goddess, Dammit!

    • I am notorious for not cleaning the lint tray. Roger asks me all the time if I did. I lie and say, but of course. He looks at me and I just crumble. He knows I’m lying. 🙂

    • I’m sure she does when you’re not around my dear. 😉 I loved the show Roseanne too. I like to think that’s how I parent. Hell I know that’s how I parent. The show dealt with so many issues. Not just taking care of children. It dealt with death, life, taxes and being poor. Of course it always had a bit of humor thrown in. Just like real-life. Right?

      • Bingo, which is what I loved about it. All other sit coms are so middle-class suburban kitsch! I especially loved how they dealt with her abusive father. That was so tragic, yet so real!

    • Thanks Vince. I just love the fact that it stayed in perfect squares. Even in the dryer. It tickled me to pieces. Just like most of my life does. Of course I give thanks. To Roger Darling, of course. But to the Man Upstairs. Without Him I wouldn’t have found such a good, tolerant, and loving man…..

  1. Eu adorei voce vendo que colocou o rolo de papel higiênico no secador de roupas.. kkkkk Rindo muito!! 😀 Eu sempre lavo dinheiro dos bolsos das roupas na máquina de lavar, e tudo mais que estiverem neles também é lavado… 🙂

    Certamente, linda mulher, nós mulheres temos perfume na alma, cheiro doce no coração, Tenha certeza que vou ler-te sim, muito, muito! Você é uma pérola rara que passeia que passeia pela grande rede, uma preciosidade a ser encontrada por alguém que saiba amar-te e valorizar-te, fazendo luzir todo o esplendor em tua face. É lindo o teu sorriso, tua expressão é meiga, de menininha e quando você não estiver esperando, o amor vai te surpreender e te fazer muito feliz como eu sou hoje.

    Fique na paz, linda Flor!

    • Sim, eu sou completamente uma tola. Mas eu sou um monte de diversão. Obrigado por todas as palavras que você disse. Estou contente por ter encontrado o seu site também. Por favor, continue lendo e eu vou continuar a seguir você eo Maestro. Está uma beleza, tenho certeza. Alguma das fotos em seu site de vocês?

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