A Writer’s Frustration

Thank you my lovely Duane for sending this to me. I sure needed the pick me up!

There is nothing more frustrating for a writer than not being able to write. I’m in so much pain I can’t even hold a pen. I’ve been this way for a month. A pinched nerve in my upper back has made even the simplest task a chore. Lifting heavy dogs at the salon has finally taken a toll on my body. It’s frustrating, because in some ways I just got this body of mine back. I don’t want anything to slow me down. I lived slow for too long.

Most of the time I look at a picture and the words come to me. Yesterday I looked at a picture and the story I wrote was shit. Β All I think about now is the pain in my upper back, shooting down my arm, to my fingertips. There’s numbness and tingling up and down my arm. I tried conventional medicine. Ibuprofen and muscle relaxants. Rest, Icy Hot and a damn heating pad. Nothing worked. The pain has worsened. It’s all I think about and it’s driving me mad. I cry at the drop of a hat. Which of course is typical for me. But not because of physical pain. You know me, it’s my emotions that get to me. A dying flower could make me cry if the mood hits me right.

I have given up and gone to a chiropractor. I was uncertain of the process, but I’m willing to try anything. The first neck adjustment scared the hell out of me. I gasped and the doctor asked if I was okay. I smiled and said, of course. The next adjustment caused my entire left arm to go dead. I was petrified! The doctor then told me to flip over. While I lay on my back, he contorted my head in ways I didn’t know it could move. Finally there was release, and relief.

He kept telling me these are the same adjustments he gives his three year old. What he should have said was, don’t be a baby! I stood up and felt less pain then I had in weeks. When I got home, I iced my back. I relaxed and read. Bedtime came at 8:15pm.

The adjustments have helped. There’s pain and numbness but my shoulders don’t feel like they’re chained shut. The doctor said it seems I carry most of my stress in my back. Hmmmm, I could have told him that! There are stories I want to write and lots of things I want to say. Unfortunately they are all blocked by pain. It makes me so damn frustrated I want to cry. A LOT!

For now I will work on feeling better and reading a good book. It’s called The Gargoyle, by Andrew Davidson. Rory told me about it. Said I would identify with it. So far he’s right. As always…

I’ll leave you with a groovy new tune from the awesome, awesome band, Muse. It’s called Madness. It’s about love of course. I guess if I can’t write, I can listen to a groovy band sing about love. Plus the video has a dystopian feel, which is my favorite. Sweet dreams my sweets.

20 thoughts on “A Writer’s Frustration

  1. I had a similar problem a few months ago! I pinched a nerve somewhere near my shoulder blade and my entire left arm would volley between excruciating pain and total numbness…I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!! A chiropractor really helped me though, I hope you start feeling better after a few more adjustments.

    • I’m sure I’ll get better in time I’m just frustrated because it dampens my creativity. I love Muse. It’s a new song. The album hasn’t been released yet. Thanks my sweetl

  2. The adjustments will definitely help. Hope you get to feeling better quickly. I should have more time soon to read some of your past posts, Renee. I love your header. Lilacs are my favorite flower for beauty and scent.

    • Thank you for the kind comment Maddie. I’m already feeling better. I can actually hold a pen today.πŸ™‚ Lilacs are my favorite too. When you get a chance read my post called the night I stole the lilacs. It’s kind of raw because I was just starting out with this whole writing thing. It should give you a feel for my silliness though. I’m glad you’re here Maddie. The scent of a lilac is beyond words. It’s like heaven and new life, and, and, and the promise of spring.

      • Silly? New writer? We are going to be good friends, Renee.πŸ˜‰ I just started writing in February, and I self-published three books so far. I had no idea I should learn the craft first. I think of myself as the writer who can’t write straight. I should have this fourth book published next week, and then I can take a breather and enjoy reading blogs more often. I’ll definitely read your lilac post.

      • We will be the perfect friends then. I had no idea I could do this either. I’m finally able to sit back and let the words flow for a book. About love of course. I don’t want to write about love, but it seems to be my forte. If it’s powerful enough to be felt by the reader, then I’m happy. We’ll see. Let me know when the fourth book is published. I want to read it!

  3. I’ve been there. The frustration! The agony! At times like this, I clear out my desk, shut my computer and just do NOTHING. Veg for a while without trying to get too antsy. I cook. Try out a difficult recipe. I read. Not new books- but old favorites and inspiration and ideas start to trickle in. Sometimes it helps to build up the creative pressure – hold off on thoughts and ideas till I can bear it no more-before I actually start to write. My other trick is to stop when I am still cresting high. Pain of course throws the whole process off. It’s hard to focus on anything but the pain itself. I understand. Sending you good thoughts…

    • Thank you so much for your comment. The suggestions are super helpful. I’m feeling better after an adjustment from the Chiropractor today. Reading a good book and cooking are what’s on the to do list today. I’m finally feeling a good story coming on. I’m so glad you’re here honey. Can’t follow and read you.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s