BLOW ME (One Last Kiss)

Just when I think it can’t get worse, I had a shit day (no!)
You had a shit day (no!), we’ve had a shit day (no!)
I think that life’s too short for this
I’ll pack my ignorance and bliss
I think I’ve had enough of shit, Blow me one last kiss.

As David from Lead.Learn.Live. has said about my blog, strap in for the ride. Because darlin’s here we go. Feeling a bit like a snarky bitch today. I’ve just about had it. These last few months have SUCKED! Fucking sucked!!!!!! I’ve gained 20 lbs because I haven’t been able to run. I’ve been drinking because I’m a whiny dumb ass. I’ve been obsessing over shit I can’t fix. I’m pissed off at myself for not being able to hold onto friendships and relationships. I’ve changed. It’s what I’ve done. I can’t go back. I won’t. I have to get up and run. Every damn time I want to go back to the gym something happens. There’s some road block. Some obstacle that gets in my way and fucks everything up. But no more!!!!!!!

As I was helping my Adam Boy move tonight, he had me laughing my ass off. At one point in the evening, he looked at me and asked me how we could be related. I told him, I was there and I know I gave birth to him. He’s such a cynical shit. Then I started singing and Meggie bitched at me to shut up, because my voice sucks. I have to say even though they are shit heads, I love them immensely. I looked at them after we repainted a bedroom in the apartment and said come hell or high water, I was going back to the gym tomorrow night.

I’m tired of feeling anxious and being a cranky cunt. I need to get fucking moving!!!!! I’ve worked too damn hard to go back. I can’t backslide. As I was driving home tonight, one of my new favorite songs came on the radio. Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by P!nk. I idolize her. She is the epitome of what I want to be. She doesn’t give a fuck and she says what’s on her mind. She sings what’s on MY mind.

I cranked up the radio, banged on the roof of my car and sang my ass off. I made the decision that enough is enough. I’m done whining and making excuses. It’s time to get back in the gym and get this crazy aggression out of me. As I was telling Rory today, instead of self-destruction, I need to focus on self-preservation. Not only of my body, but my heart and soul too.

I’ve made a lot of connections here in this lovely blogosphere. While some have been good and healthy. Some have been self-defeating and taken me into a downward spiral. It’s time to look up. To move on.

Tonight when I got home, I turned on some P!nk and danced in the living room in my tank shirt and undies. This Sparkly Girl is heading back to the gym and starting the long way back to being able to run 3.5 miles again. Sometimes the best revenge is living well. It’s what I plan to do. Every damn day of my life. I’m going to live well.

I will do what I please, anything that I want
I will breathe, I won’t breathe, I won’t worry at all
You will pay for your sins, you’ll be sorry my dear
All the lies, all the wise, will be crystal clear

18 thoughts on “BLOW ME (One Last Kiss)

    • Honey thank you for the sweet comments and the blessing. I need all of the blessings I can get. Some day somehow I’m going to get this right. I hope to anyway. Thanks for the add and the follow. I’ll be sure to follow you too. Glad you’re here!

  1. Well, not that you’ve asked for my opinion but…as I remember you weren’t feeling all that well so lets acknowledge that…I think it’s great you’re going to work out and build up to running again, but let’s give Sparkly Girl a fucking break…By the way, you did some of your best writing during that time so there is that. Pick out those gems from that trash heap, will ya?

    • Thanks Susannah for the comment. I was feeling all kinds of crappy and crazy. But I’m back to my own kind of normal now. Got the all clear from my spine specialist today, so life is good. I’m inspired to a write another chapter of my book tonight and that’s a good thing. Love that you said the word fuck in your comments too. Susannah darlin’, I love ya!

    • Thanks my dear. I’ve got to. Nothing makes me feel as good as when I’m in shape. Except for writing of course. And love. Love makes me feel pretty damn good too. Giggle.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s