A Broken Hoo Hoo, A Wedding, and A Funeral

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Fuck, I need to be at the beach right now!

I’ve had a broken hoo hoo for at least six weeks. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say it hasn’t been pretty.  I called my awesome ob/gyn over a month ago. The nurse responded that I was probably in peri-menopause and what I was going through was normal. She was quite the bitch to me. You don’t know how badly I wanted reach through the phone and slap her. I decided to wait another week and call back if my symptoms didn’t change.

Fast forward a week and of course the symptoms were still the same. Since Meggie was getting married soon, I decided I didn’t want to end up in a hospital in Mexico having a hysterectomy. I called the doctor again, explained my plight and they scheduled an appointment for me ASAP.

I was sure what the problems was. I had gained back a few pounds so I probably didn’t ovulate. I’d be given a prescription for Provera. I’d have to take it for ten days, bleed profusely and then all would be right with my body again. Yippee!!!!!

During my exam, the doctor and I chatted about the impending wedding. She couldn’t believe one of the first babies she was involved in delivering was old enough to get married. She biopsied my uterus and gave me an internal ultra-sound. Throughout the exam she assured me everything looked good. But she had to do all of these tests to rule out cancer and infections. There it was, the C word.

I told her that this crap was putting a serious crimp in my sex life. And we needed to fix it STAT! The doctor laughed hysterically at me. I giggled right with her. I checked out with a scrip for Provera, with plans to pick it up along with a crap ton of feminine products on my way home from work. It was just like I thought, my body was rebelling from the weight gain. Yeesh!

Imagine my surprise when I received a call from my doctor the Friday after my appointment. She informed me that there was a concern about abnormal cell growth in my uterus. Of course cancer was discussed. It appears that the cell growth is pre pre cancer. Of course I am afraid. I’m trying to be strong and smile through it. I’m a positive person, even if I am a snarky, sarcastic bitch sometimes.

I told Roger Darling about it. He’s a supportive partner, but I know he’s scared too. I have to have surgery in January. Here I was hoping that 2013 was going to be a better year. I pray that it will be even with this little kink in my uterus.

In one more week we’ll be in Miami, we’ll board a cruise ship and head to Key West for Meg and Chris’s wedding. I can’t wait to get out of this town and put my toes in the sand. Maybe it will change my fear to happiness. I know the way I am. I will smile through it and enjoy my time with my daughter and new son in law. However the fear will creep back in when I’m alone and my mind is racing. I’ll shed a few tears in private too.

A dear cousin of ours died suddenly and we have to attend his funeral today. It’s so sad that as we get older the only time  we ever see family is at a wedding or a funeral. I want to be joyous about the upcoming wedding, but we must get through some sadness first.

Such is life after all. Such is life.

35 thoughts on “A Broken Hoo Hoo, A Wedding, and A Funeral

  1. I really hope it won’t be as bad as you think, the illness or the thing that is wrong. Get better soon! and do try to enjoy your time out for you daughter’s wedding, cherish those moments and gather strength out of them.
    x

    • Hi sweetheart. Thanks for the kind words. I do appreciate them. I’m going to focus on my lovely daughter next week, and have as much fun as possible. Soak up the sun and enjoy our family and friends that will be with us. I’ll put my health concerns to the back of my mind for a few days while we take in the beautiful sights of Cozumel too. Take care my dear…. xoxoxo

    • Thanks Yaz. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m just ready for life to stop throwing so much shit at me. I long for dull. Just plain old dull….

      Much love to you too. Mwah!

  2. I am sure it will all be fine but i know how scarier that phrase abnormal cells is I had them at 21 just after having my daughter prem but emergency c-section i had to be checked out regularly for the next 5 years but they never appeared again apparently lots of things can cause the abnormal cells without it being the c word but it is the only one you can ever think of at the time and convince yourself it means it will fully develop, the best thing you can do silly as it seems is stay relaxed and focus on the positives, worrying only weakens you xxxx

    • You’ve got to accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch onto the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mr. In Between.

      I can’t believe I just quoted a very old song, but I did. I’m doing my best to stay positive and to keep laughing. It helps so much. I want to be healthy enough to focus on my daughter’s day next week and not worry about myself. I can do that when I’m alone. I can write out my fears.

      I hate to wait till January but as I said, such is life. Thanks for all your sweet words Paula. Thanks honey. xoxoxox

  3. My sil is going through this right now, Renee – the abnormal, pre-c cells. She is having her second surgery in a week, but that’s why they do the surgery. Take the cells before they can turn into something else. You are smart to stay on top of this, and I’ll be sending prayers and good wishes your way. Cry today for your cousin and yourself, and then I hope you find peace on the beach. xoxoxoxo

    • Thanks for all the kind words Maddie. I’m glad it was found so quickly. I’m hopeful for the future. It has to get better, right? My element is water, so I’m sure the beach will be a tranquil place for me.

  4. C’est la vie, c’est la mort (such is life, such is death)
    So much life is reflected in this post Renee. The beginning of your daughter’s soon family life, your menopausal life and your cousin’s death.

    On the case with your abnormal pre-c cells, mother had that two years ago. She developed quite a number of large cysts in her uterus that made everyone worry. My mom is better now. I think it’s normal for people with maturing bodies like you. My uncle, who’s an ob-gyne, (if get this right) tells that it has something to do with how you produce hormones in the body. As of the moment, when my mother had her uterus removed, she is taking up hormone pills. I know lot of mothers who also had the same symptoms and stories. I know, I’m not a doctor but you will be well.🙂 As long as the result of the biopsy turns out great, all you have to do is to just take extra good care of yourself.

    On your daughter’s soon wedding, I cannot tell you how much I’m pretty excited for the everyone! I haven’t been in weddings for a long time. Weddings just give me so much hope for love, companionship and the future.

    On the death of your cousin, I am hoping that your family will be better soon with the passing.

    C’est la vie, c’est la mort.

    • Thanks for all the sweet words my dear Louise. Life keeps going doesn’t. We’ll get through all of it. I’m glad your mom is okay. I don’t want the instant menopause if I can avoid. I’m already moody enough.🙂 All in all life is good. I look at my cousin L., J.’s widow and I think that could be me. So it could always be worse. Much love to you my dear girl. I’m sure I will be fine.

  5. I have a feeling things will turn out fine. As an OB nurse, my unsolicited opinion is that it may be age related. Is your OB/Gyn discussing a hysterectomy?

    Hope the wedding is wonderful. I wish I was sticking my toes in the sand with you.

    • I’m hoping it will be too. A D and C first. Testing and then whatever else they want to do. I thought losing weight would help me stay healthy. Of course I forgot about age creeping in. Ah well. It will be okay. I feel it too. Thanks for the kind words my dear.

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