The Proposal

Ferris Wheel and Tilt A Whirl

The lovers walk through the turnstile and their senses are blindsided by the smells of the Midway. The heated sugar and cinnamon of Elephant Ears. The greasy tang of French fries, Italian sausage, peppers and onions.  Their eyes are dazzled by sugar being spun onto a cardboard cone. The aromas float in the air and travel tantalizingly up their nostrils. She breathes deeply as she walks hand in hand with him toward the Ferris wheel.

Men and boys look her up and down, but she pays no attention to them. All she sees is him. Her dark haired knight in shining armor. Her best friend. The sun sets and the lights come up on the Midway. The sights and sounds make her forget her fear of heights as they wait in line to take their first ride.

They settle in the seat of the Ferris wheel and are strapped in by a questionable looking carny. Her love senses her anxiety and wraps his hands around hers. They begin their first ascent. She sucks in a breath and releases it slowly.

Don’t worry Love, we’ll be fine.

Oh honey, I know. My stomach drops every time we come around is all.

I love you my dear, you know that don’t you?

Of course I do.

She smiles at him. He grips her chin between his thumb and index finger. He brushes his lips against hers and she laughs. He lowers his hand from her face and places it in his coat pocket. She gives him a puzzled look as he brings out a little black box. Her eyes widen in wonderment.

What are you doing?

What do you think I’m doing?

Are you. Are you asking me to marry you?

Yes.

I thought you said you’d never get married.

My Love you have made me change my mind. I can’t imagine my life without you.

This is crazy. You’re crazy! I’m a nut. I’m neurotic. I’m a slob. I’m ridiculous. Impulsive. Crazy. I’m….

You are perfect and I love you.

I’m imperfect, but I love you. Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes. Will you have me?

Oh yes.

She starts to cry and her cheeks flush crimson. He wipes her tears away, then places the diamond on the ring finger of her left hand.

The Ferris wheel makes another revolution. She feels her stomach drop. Not from fear, but elation. She snuggles in tight next to him and kisses him passionately. As they continue kissing they’ve no idea that the ride has stopped. The questionable carny stands by waiting impatiently for them to leave the ride. All they see is each other. And the sparkle of her engagement ring reflected in the lights of Midway.

19 thoughts on “The Proposal

  1. dark haired knight in shining armor.

    too cliché. you can do better than that.

    questionable looking carny? how can you tell he’s questionable? what would you see that tells you that? that’s what you need to describe. don’t tell us he’s questionable. tell us what you see. talking out of the side of his mouth? eyes shifting back and forth? a smile wider than it should be?

    • I welcome your criticism and I do know I can do better than what I wrote. I didn’t let the story simmer much because I was heading out of town for my daughter’s wedding. I like romantic. I like knights in shining armor. I don’t like being too cliche though. I really wanted the story to be sad. Heart breaking. I changed my mind at the last minute. I do my best writing about love that’s lost. Think I better do a re-write.

      • not “better” do a re-write. only if you want to. it’s your to do as you wish. but i don’t like to be like most people who just say “hey, great job.” we all do a great job, but we can all do better.

      • I know you’re not like most people. I do listen to what you have to say. And if I feel the need, I will re-write it. In the frame of mind I’m in right now, I believe I can make my readers weep. We’ll see.

  2. I enjoyed the “questionable looking carney” part, both in the repetition of the phrase and the nonchalance in his mention – I liked being able to decide for myself what made him questionable in nature.

    I also loved the whole “old time romance movie” feel to it – I could envision someone like Cary Grant cooly reaching for the little black box. Nicely done!

  3. Lovely story 🙂 Personally, I think the “questionable looking carney” is perfect. We can each imagine what is questionable to us. I like a story to leave some room for imagination instead of stark detail.

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