Happy New Year, A Video Blog

Fierce

2013 is going to start out with surgery. On my uterus for the love of Bob! I was so hoping that 2013 would be a little less stressful. At least the beginning of it. I was at my pre-op appointment today. I was shaking; scared. My blood pressure was a little high. I was panicky. I hate that I didn’t have much control of myself. The doctor reassured me that what she was going to do was, routine.

“That’s awesome”, I said. “But for me, it isn’t.” She put her hand on my arm and replied, “Let’s do the procedure, check the pathology and move on from there. Okay?” I sighed and shook my head up and down.

She explained the procedure. A D and C. I’m not describing it here. Google it if you need to know more. To let you know, it is because I have pre-cancerous cell growth in my uterus. Yes, I’m worried. But I will do my very best to keep a smile on my face and enjoy the pain meds.

I did have a tiny bit of comic relief as I tried to walk out the door of the doctor’s office. I thought the door was automatic and I smacked right into the damn thing. Of course the receptionists saw me. They laughed and so did I. I turned to them and said, “Happy New Year!” Then cackled like an idiot as I pushed the door open and exited. I laughed so hard, I cried.

2012 has not been my best year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been good. Some days have been, anyway. The wedding for my daughter and son in law was Heavenly. But my marriage has been turbulent. My body has been rebellious. Though I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight, I have dealt with chronic pain and other health issues. Some friendships have endured. Others have disappeared. I have been lucky enough to forge many new heart connections though. It’s what I thrive on. Connection. And Roger Darling and I are doing well.

I have found a new passion. A new love. It is writing. It is everything to me. I have found a home. A place where I can be myself. I’m not normal. Nor do I want to be. I like being ridiculous. Fun. Silly. Morose. High. Low. Backwards and frontwards too.

Okay, enough of the sad shit. Let’s talk about resolutions. Yeah, I know. Most of us don’t keep them for more than a week or two. But here’s hoping I create a couple of good habits out of the ever expanding list of shit I need to fix.

Use an inside voice (YES I TEND TO SPEAK VERY LOUDLY. ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M EXCITED. Which is most of the time.)

Be less impulsive (Yeah, right. I’m not even going to be able to do this for one day!)

Be less sarcastic (See my comment above. It ain’t gonna happen, but a girl can hope.)

Have more fun.

Grow out my hair. (What the fuck was I thinking when I cut it? I wasn’t. I was being IMPULSIVE!)

Dance more.

Fix my shitty singing voice. (I used to have the voice of angel. Now I sound like a rusty door hinge.)

Smile more. (I like smiling. Smiling is my favorite.-Buddy the Elf)

Cry less. (I cry every day. And if I write a sad love story, I bawl when I do a read through. It’s a wonder I don’t short out my keyboard!)

Write. (Write, write, write, and then write some more!)

Be proud of myself.

Feel less shame.

Love more.

Love myself more.

Wear my tiaras more often. (I’m not a princess. I’m a queen and I’ve got this shit handled!)

Run (And get Roger Darling to run with me. (Some women weren’t meant to be tamed. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a quote from Sex and the City. Look it up.)

Behave myself and show less boob. (I know this will NOT change. I added this to the list for RD. I’m a crazy woman. It’s what I do.)

Stop saying fuck so much. (Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck am I thinking???? I think I can do this. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.)

Take a creative writing class or four. (This is a must. I’m writing a book. Yeah, I know. But really, I am!!!)

Stop doubting myself. (I seem so confident. It’s bullshit. I’m working on it though.)

So that’s it, and may 2013 be your best year yet. I hope it’s everything you want it to be. Here’s hoping mine is better after I have surgery on January 7. I hope they find nothing wrong and I can move the hell forward. When the clock strikes midnight and you hear the strains of Auld Lange Syne in the air, you’ll also feel my kiss. And you’ll hear my silly horse laugh. I thank you for following me. For cheering me on. And tearing me down when I needed it.

Love and kisses, Sparkly Girl

59 thoughts on “Happy New Year, A Video Blog

  1. I love you, Renee! You were made for a tiara, and you are so beautiful and passionate. Prayers for a very good outcome on January 7, and I know you will do wonderful things as you tackle your resolutions. Happy New Year to you!

    • Oh Maddie darlin’ I love you too. Thanks for the prayers. I just can’t seem to catch a break. I sure do hope I do soon. Thank you for your support. Happy New Year to you too.

  2. You my dear are a gift, a treat and a pleasure!
    Best of luck with your surgery better now then when evolved. So I expect daily swear words, lots if cleavage and plenty if dancing, once you feel better if course.
    Lots of love to you.
    May the new year bring you all you desire.
    Always
    Benjamin

    • Happy New Year Benjamin. Thank you for all of your sweet words. I do treasure them. I’m sure I’ll be okay. Just scared. I act so tough, but I’m not. I promise to wear low cut tops as often as possible. I’ll dance in my next video blog entry. Promise that I’m pretty decent at it. I’ll let you all know the results when I know. You are a dear and I love you too. Happy New Year. Get lots of kisses at midnight.

      Fondly,
      Renee

    • Randy my dear I do believe you’re right about it being therapeutic. Fuck yeah, I’ll keep using it. Sparingly. Thank you for your kind comment and Happy New Year.

  3. Breath, take another breath… surrender your concerns to God…let go! He can handle it all….You are perfect, delete your list….you are perfect and please know you will be fine, I promise!

    • Asklotta your comment made me cry. So much for my resolution to cry less. I guess you’re right, it’s how I’m made. It’s who I am. Thank you so much for every word you said. Happy New Year my dear. Much love to you!

  4. I was incredibly moved listening to you and I wish you all the best for the 7th. I will make a special point of remembering this day Renee – love you and your blog. Juliexxx

    • My dear thank you so much for all of your kind words. I’ll be sure to write about the results when I receive them. I’ll carry your thoughts in my heart on the 7th. Thank you for everything. love you and your blog too. Happy New Year.

  5. I loved seeing you on video Renee; you really are so beautiful. If I could be with you now, I’d hug you, sit with you and talk with you through all the hardships of the health issues you face. Lots of love to you always. Yaz

    • Thank you Yaz. I do believe I felt a virtual hug from you. I know it will be okay. It has to be. My life is blessed. I think it is anyway. Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful. That is still so hard for me to believe. YOU are a beauty. Happy New Year my dear.

      XOXOXOXOXO, Renee

  6. Love it… Dance more, love my dancing. My new dance to learn this year is the rumba. Did salsa all year 2012 and love it.. Less boob, WTF! don’t say so 🙂 have a great start of the year…

    • Okay, okay I promise to keep showing my boobs. 🙂 Hopefully I can get that husband of mine to go dancing with me. If not, will you??? I’d love to learn how to Salsa. Giggle. Happy New Year my dear friend. You know, you are my favorite perv. Giggle.

      XOXOXOXOXO, Renee

    • Thanks my dear David. I promise to keep telling it like it is. No matter what happens. It’s what this crazy girl does. I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for your prayers. Happy New Year my sweet friend.

      XOXOXOXOX, Renee

  7. You know I am saying a prayer all will be OK and if not you will have the strength to get through I too have many tears to shed as the books are written but maybe that is how we will let go and finally BE

    I wish you the very beast of a new year
    Yell if you need someone to swear with you remember I used to drive a TRUCK lol

    XO
    HUGS
    Eunice

    • Eunice,
      Happy New Year honey. Thanks for your kind comments. I’m letting go and letting God take this one. I’m scared, but I’m strong when I need to be. From our conversations I know you are too. It will be okay, no matter the outcome. I will remember to call on you to spew the F word.I do remember you used to drive truck. Wink, wink. Take care and enjoy the start of 2013.

      XOXOXOXOXO, Renee

  8. Happy New Year xx
    Your Honesty is amazing
    That’s OPEN heart babe xxx
    wishing you the best in your surg .
    always here for you ………
    KEEP ON WRITING .
    love your TIARA XXXXX
    “some women weren’t meant to be TAMED ”
    🙂 omg – my fave scene 🙂 xxx
    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
    Happy new year xx still listening xxx
    Of course it will get better xxx
    🙂 of course it will xxxx
    Please keep making these vids
    You are way more than “Sparkly”
    pure diamond – 🙂 xxxx
    For You xxx
    LOVE ALWAYS XX
    Cat xx

  9. Positive thoughts and prayers that your surgery will turn out well. Wear the Tiara for the surgery so you’ll get the best princess treatment ever! Give the fuck up on some of those resolutions already, why torture yourself trying to do something you’ll never accomplish 😉 Stay you and may you be blessed with Peace and Love in the New Year.

    • Hi Kip,

      Oh honey I won’t do half the stuff I say I will. That’s okay though, my heart is good and I mean well. I just want to get this next week over with. I’ll take your advice and wear the tiara. I’ll be sure Roger Darling takes a picture of me too. 🙂 I’ll keep you posted and thanks for all of your kind words my dear. Happy New Year and much love to you.

      Love, Renee
      XOXOXOXOXOXO

  10. Hey Renee, best wishes on the 7th. I know u’ll come thru just fine, you have too many wonderful stories inside to share with the world! I’ll be thinking of and praying for you, many blessing for the new year. Be well dear.

    • Thank you for the kind words honey. I’m so glad we found each other. Your blog is so inspiring. I wrote you a story btw. 🙂 Happy New Year.

      XOXOXOXXOXO, Renee

  11. Happy New Year from me too, Renee.
    You are such a strong woman and there’s nothing that will stop you in 2013 be even stronger and better.
    Don’t be afraid, all will be fine. Smile, write, dance, express yourself freely.
    You are beautiful! 🙂
    Love and positive thoughts to you.
    Ela

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