Friday Fictioneers-To Tell the Truth

copyright-ted-strutz

The couple stand at the railing, hands clasped. The ferry rocks them gently. Almost lovingly. Jason can find no security in it though. He’s anxious about the conversation to come.

‘I envy your strength, Miranda.’

‘Don’t, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’

‘Where do I begin?’

‘At the beginning of course.’

‘I’ve never lived on my own.’

‘It’s time you did. Tell your truth.’

As the sun dips below the horizon, the impending darkness gives Jason newfound strength. In port, he leaves Miranda at the railing.

Meeting his wife at the dock, he declares, ‘Love, our story’s over.’

100 words/Genre: love story?

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers. It tickles me to death to write with such a great group of writers. Please be sure to go to her page and read their stories too. We are a rather eclectic group and the genres run the gamut.

I welcome kudos and criticism. Happy reading!

23 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers-To Tell the Truth

  1. Dear Renee,

    It took me a few reads of your story and comments to figure this one out. Maybe I’m dim this morning.
    So my take is that Miranda is a friend and he’s made the decision to leave his wife. Am I getting warm?
    In your first line, I think the message could be stronger without the adverbs…at least…”Almost lovingly.” It could be my personal avoidance of adverbs.😉
    The dialogue is good…particularly “tell your truth.”
    I feel that the ending line is weakened by his calling his wife “Love” and the use of “declares.” (Something jarring about it.) However I do like that he tells her their story’s over.
    Okay. I’ll back off now. Feel free to tell me to jump over the railing with cement anklets.😉

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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