A Final Rendezvous With Renee

In my Dreams

These days words leave me hollow like a rotting tree stump. It may be dying, but there’s life buzzing in it anyway. Insects and animals colonize within, while the stump slowly decays and becomes one with the earth again.-Heath

I’m hollow. An empty vessel. Spent. And my story has been told. Every single one of my posts have helped bring me peace. I’ve poured my heart into every word I’ve written. Doesn’t matter if the story was real or fiction. I still bled on these pages.

The fictional stories have all had some grain of reality. A real person. A need. A want. A longing and desire. I have never created characters. I’ve created living, breathing people. Maybe someday I’ll tell you the origin of some of them, but probably not.

My journal entries, now those were something weren’t they? They taught me a thing or two about over sharing. Without them, I would have never learned about this gift that I have. It’s a curse too. See, once you begin to write,  it controls you. You immerse yourself in fiction because reality is too much to bear.

Sometimes words came so fast, I couldn’t write or type them fast enough. I was obsessed, to say the least. Photographs and paintings brought forth words and stories. I never realized how much I had to say.

My first fictional piece was called Ascent. About a girl that wanted to die. She didn’t though. Her newly discovered wings saved her as she began to plummet toward the sea. Little did I realize I was the one sprouting those metaphorical wings.

My writer, he pushed me to write for Friday Fictioneers. What began as a lark proved to be a much needed exercise in discipline. My writer fled, but I stuck with FF. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields has been a terrific mentor. I’m honored she worked so hard with me. I adore her for every criticism and kudos. My best flash fiction story was, The Invisible Man. I may submit it to Narrative Magazine. They’ve rejected my work before, but you never know what can happen.

I’ve had five short stories published by EtherBooks. Alan and Melissa from Ghost, and Damon and Rhiannon from Sounds will always be my best creations. The stories are still available for download on your iPhone or Android phone. The app is free, so please download and critique my stories.

‘The Ghost of a Great Love’ 

‘A Night Swim with Marilyn’ 

‘Dawn at Antietam’ 

‘Sounds of Orioles and the Taste of Lemonade’ 

‘On a Hot Summer Night’ 

Sometimes God Sits on a Stoop is a favorite recent post. I saw the face of God that day. I’ll never forget Curt, or his story.

I’ll keep the blog active for awhile, but don’t be surprised if one of these days it’s gone. Like me, she is a force of nature that can’t be contained.

Real life is waiting. I’m going to live it. I suggest you do the same.

Love,

Sparkly Girl

P.S. Don’t hate on me for posting the 1D video. This song is the shit. Even if it’s sung by a British boy band.

P.P.S. How can I forget Rory, my brother in arms? My world will never be the same now that you’re in it. I love you.

Although I am broken, my heart is untamed, still
And I’ll be gone, gone tonight
The fire beneath my feet is burning bright
The way that I’ve been holding on so tight
With nothing in between
The story of my life…

51 thoughts on “A Final Rendezvous With Renee

    • Dear JWo,

      Thanks Love, but it’s time to move on. I may come back to WP, but as I told RG it won’t be as me. I’ve learned a lot over the last two years. One of those things is anonymity. I need it.

      I did what I set out to do. I discovered that I am indeed a writer. Now it’s time to live a little.

      xoxoxoxoxoxo

      Love, Renee

    • Dear Jeff,

      That was the point of writing these posts. To ease the hearts and minds of others. To entertain. To make you think and laugh. To make you ‘feel’. If I did at least one of those things then I succeeded. I’m so glad you read me, and became my friend.

      Love, Renee

  1. When I first saw the title of this post I thought NOOOOOOOO,,, this can’t be the end of Rendezvous with Renee. But I truly respect your decision to move on to new frontiers. I am glad you accomplish what you set on to do on this journey. I wish you the best on your next course in the “One Direction” that you have chosen to sail towards… wherever that may be. Maybe I will find you there as well.. Take care Renee! Peace Out ( I always longed to say that …)

    • Dear Michael,

      Not to worry my friend, my blog will stay active. You can come back and read my work anytime you want to. I’m not sure if I’ll ever write again. If I do, it won’t be as me. I was green when I started on WordPress. I didn’t realize that I should be anonymous. I know now that if I continue I’ll use a pen name. I’m glad you read my work. I’m truly honored.

      Love, Renee

  2. I love you too Nae, but dude, you plugged my name RIGHT ABOVE a 1D song. That’s harsh. Way harsh.

    You know that I’ll always offer you my best – not because I can give it, but because you deserve nothing less. Take care sis, like someone else I know, your journey is only now beginning.

    • Dude, you made me laugh so hard I snorted. It’s not so much the tune as it is the lyrics.

      Although I am broken, my heart is untamed, still
      And I’ll be gone, gone tonight

      My heart will always be untamed. I will always be broken. I know that and I’m okay with it. Finally!

      You’re right my brother, the journey is just beginning. Are you coming along for the ride?

      Love, Nae

  3. I’ll really miss Rendevous dropping into my mailbox.
    I am so glad that it has done what you needed it to do, to heal the hurts and help you find a better path for yourself. It has done its job, I am pleased its work is done.

    (((hugs)))

    • My sweet Nick,

      The beautiful thing is you’ll still receive email from me, without all the flowery Rendezvous shit thrown in. Your words and support have helped me exponentially. You’re a good man with a good heart, and I adore you. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I’ll talk to you soon, I’m sure.

      Love, Renee

  4. I’m sorry you won’t be posting any more but I’m glad your blog has done its job and helped you find some peace, an outlet for your thoughts.
    Stay safe.

    “One Direction”. Ack🙂

    • Dear Dr. Aliman,

      One Direction kinda sucks, and I HATE this song has taken root in this stormy brain of mine. But some of the lyrics ring true for me.

      I assure you I will come back to WordPress one of these old days. Not as Rendezvous of course. Take care my sweet, and thank you for reading me.

      xoxoxoxoxox

      Love, Renee

    • Thanks Love. You never know, I may end up sending you a photo of my pedicured toes standing on a beach. Or climbing a mountain. Or a host of other crazy things.

      xoxoxoxoxoxo

      Love, Renee

    • Dear Doug,

      I can’t thank you enough for all of the constructive criticism you gave me while I wrote for Friday Fictioneers. Within me lies the heart and a soul of a writer. Whether she ever emerges again remains to be seen. For now I live with the contentment of knowing that I’m writing a new story. One with laughter, tears, love, hope and tragedy. The story will be written not in words but actions. Of a life well lived. And well loved.

      Love always,
      Renee

  5. Dear Renee

    I am saddened that you are leaving WP. I enjoyed your take on life, love and the world as you saw it. Your way with words made me smile a lot as I imagined you smiling at the reaction you provoked from your readers,

    Be happy my dear girl and come back to us from time to time as you write the next chapter.

    I will miss you

    Dee x

    • Sweetest Dee,

      I’m sure I will return, but not as Rendezvous girl. That story is over. Or rather, just beginning. My words are exhausted for now. I will continue to read your stories. Maybe I’ll even surprise you all and write for Friday Fictioneers in the future. For now I’m going to go out and live this crazy and sometimes boring life of mine.

      I’m so happy I made you smile. It’s all I ever wanted.

      Love Renee

  6. I know we haven’t “known” each other that long, but I am saddened to hear that you’ll be leaving blogland…it’s ironic, though, Renee, because for the last few days, I’ve had the same thoughts. Not only about my blog, but also about facebook; just maybe needing a break from the screen for awhile…I haven’t decided yet, but you kind of inspired me in that direction and that’s a good thing. I think being tied to a computer is more unhealthy than the opposite…anyway, I wish you all the best in your “real life” endeavors. You are a sweetheart with a sweetheart of a sense of humor and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you for this short time…take care and sending hugs and lots of love!
    Lauren ♥

    • Dear Lauren,

      I understand wanting to leave. I’ve had to walk away from WP and FB a time or two, because it’s not good to be so connected. I’m sure that I will come back to WP again, but most certainly not as Rendezvous. I already have a pen name selected. She’s even got an inactive blog on WP.

      Take a break from it Lauren. See if your words escape you. If they don’t, then you’re not ready to leave. If they do, and you feel contentment, then you’re ready. But if there is still a story within you, continue to tell it. Don’t deprive us of it. Or yourself.

      Take care. Love and hugs to you also.

      Love, Renee

  7. Should your blog ever disappear I will understand, but I will dearly miss you and your writing. Just thought you should know that.
    Also, know that the portrait at the top of this post of the woman on the beach is fabulously sexy. I love women in white long shirts! Wow!
    Scott

    • Dear Scott,

      I don’t think my blog will ever disappear. It will remain a part of the internet and blogosphere. Hopefully it will be read by another human that is broken and they will find repair. Hopefully, they will find comfort. I will miss it. But I have a life to live. Will I continue to write? Yes. I have to write a book. I need to. I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to keep busy. Where I’m trying to avoid my calling. Why, I do not know. It’s because I doubt myself.

      I will give it a try. I have to. The need will eat away at me if I don’t. For now, I fill my time with living life. Running around trying to pacify the eternal child in me. See Scott, I can write. I want to. But who gives a shit what I say, really?

      Much love to you my dear man. Keep writing your stories. Find your voice and your light.

      Love, Renee

      • What a wonderful almost goodbye. I know I will still hear from you. We have traded email addys so there is that. I always think fondly of you and hope, someday, to actually talk or see you. Just a thought.
        Live your life; I am finding my voice and my light. I wish the same for you. Don’t fear – I give a shit, so others do, too. Believe that.
        Scott

  8. Oh dear Renee,

    I fear you disappeared without my noticing soon enough to voice protest. Not that I have that kind of sway. But i will miss your words. thank you for sharing what you have with me and for making me laugh. Write that book! And if you ever need a pair of eyes or an opinio, or two, I would love to lend a hand.

    Yours truly,
    Dana

    • Lovely Helena,

      I miss you too. You were such an inspiration to me. I’ll carry your stories and words of encouragement with me always. I may come back to wordpress one of these days, but it will not be as myself. Rather as a spirited woman with a sordid past, and a nom de plume. Can you imagine the freedom that will afford me? Of course you can, because you do that now. I should have done it when I started writing. I was so green and naive. I know better now how to protect my heart. I will be sure to in the future. Much love and hugs to you my sweet woman.

      Love, Renee

  9. Just read this, Renee. I had wondered why you weren’t doing the Fictioneers anymore. I can understand why you need a break, and I’m glad you’re still around on Facebook. See you there!

    • Hello Perry,

      I miss Fictioneers so much. I’ve told others and I’ll tell you, I will return to wordpress. But not as myself. I have a lovely nom de plume that I’ll write under. See you in the funny papers Mr. hilarious man. Lol

      Love, Renee

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