This Morning

The autumn wind is a pirate. Blustering in from sea with a rollicking song he sweeps along swaggering boisterously. His face is weather beaten, he wears a hooded sash with a silver hat about his head… The autumn wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun.

~Steve Sabol~

Awoke this morning to sloppy puppy kisses on my forehead and a brisk shuffle walk outside. Old coffee was warmed in the microwave while I fed the dog and cat. With cream added to dark roast I sat down and watched the sun rise from my sliding glass door. I accidentally spilled coffee on my chest when Eddie dropped a tennis ball in my lap. Setting the coffee down I did as he silently requested and played fetch. After a few balls were caught in mid air he walked to the door and gave me a pleading look to go back outside. With my coat on, I painfully shuffled out the door and headed down the stairs. I opened the door and walked out into the chilly air to walk my little terror knowing that he was saving me and helping me heal.

**I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted on my blog. It’s been difficult to be inspired, or when I do write I think the words are trite and utter bullshit. I have to write to get better at it, and I assure you I’ll try. Have a great day and stay warm.**

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7 thoughts on “This Morning

  1. Be gentle with yourself Renee. You have gone through a big time and these moments remove many things that no longer have meaning for you, you are changing, but to do that things that gave you comfort and security are removed and you are being put in a place to face new things coming into your life. A new approach to life, a desire to do things differently and even a puppy (with great affectionate love I might add πŸ™‚ ), to occasionally force you to ‘come out and play’. Trust me, it is all done with great love so that you can feel that happiness within again. And in that it can feel painful but it is done with great gentleness so that you can slowly adjust to the new you. Oh, and it does teach one other thing (and this is probably the hardest)….patience…because the one thing we wish with all our hearts is for these things to pass and leave us alone because of the pain. But in truth, it is what seems this long passage of time that allows us to look within and realise that we no longer wish to be that previous person and begin to instigate what we truthfully want for ourselves. The beauty of loving ourselves finally begins. Breeeathe my friend, you are creating a very, very beautiful diamond, with great care and love be gentle with her, there is not another like her in this entire universe. Namaste

    • I’m trying very hard to give myself time and to be patient. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know that when this journey comes to an end I will be a better person; stronger. I told my ex-husband yesterday that I never realized how truly strong I was until all the changes that have taken place in the 1.5 years. Most were under my control, but some were not. I’m learning that the greatest love and patience I need to have are for myself. Thanks for your kind words.

      Love, Renee

      • Your doing brilliantly. It is amazing when we look back over this crazy part of our lives that we realize just how much we have changed. And even though we struggled with it, in the end we are glad that we no longer persevere with those things that we no longer feel or need. A new flower is born, maybe a little wobbly and unsure but you will be surprised how quickly you do ‘become’ the new model, and radiate the confidence that goes with it. Well done Renee, you are now free to choose ‘your’ journey. Follow your heart, she has much love to show you. Namaste

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